Science 101-9th Graders?

No wonder our kids are so stupid compared to Asian and Europeans. This would be funny if it were primary school kids but not high schoolers. Actual teacher submitted results from tests.

• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an aviator.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are Mosquitoes.
• It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.
• Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
• Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.
• The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun but I never have been able to make out the numbers.
• In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
• When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the victim is dead.
• Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• A monsoon is a French gentleman.
• The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
• Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.
• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
• You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit.If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.