Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Rack 'Em Up!

Check out a super blog giveaway here!


This song gets played every 4th quarter at the Piston's games-whether we are winning or losing! I always get messed up at the C.

Fifth Grade Science Exam

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Friday, November 23, 2007

I Can't Even Shower ...

5 minutes in the hot shower trying to warm up. I finally crawl out. My underwear are missing. Jackson is in the bed. My underwear are in the hall-shredded to bits.

The damn dog ate my underwear. Not my socks. Not the towel. Not the mat. Not the toothpaste tube. He ate my underwear. And he has the look on his face that says "HA!" Paybacks for locking me in the john this morning instead of letting me stay outside in the freezing rain.

Tomorrow, he stays outside all day!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Handi-Vac Kitchen Sealer Tool

I would not usually plug an item here but I found this cool "toy" and bought it today. Having wanted a vacuum sealer for a long time but not wanting to splurge $100 and up for an item I might not use as much as if I had kids at home and bigger meals, I said the $9.00 I paid for this item would be a worthwhile experiment and if it didn't meet my needs, I would give to my daughter to use.

Well, she ain't getting it! I love it!! I purchased a large bag of frozen peas and divided them up into several servings bags and tucked them in the freezer. There are at least two sizes of vacuum bags and if you look in the store, there is a $5 refund form on the shelves.

Check it out here and play the freezer game while you are there.


A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was a total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot why he had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
Eat a Tofurkey!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Dear Mr. President

I saw this on Colleen's blog this morning and it needs to be passed on. Think about this and tell me if you feel the same.

Dear Mr. President
(feat. Indigo Girls)

Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me.
Would you?

Share Something Big!

I saw this photo challenge here . I would love it if you posted a link to something you have personally seen or have a photo with humans in your town or on your travels.

A local dairy, this was in the parking lot of the grand opening of VG's grocery store last year. I was alone so no humans in this but I was there!
Here is my daughter in the world's largest frying pan on the way to my son's wedding last April. Really off the beaten path.
This is also on the way to the wedding-near a truck stop called Lovie's. I think this was on Interstate 80 in Illinois. Marley was freaked!

So post a link or email me a photo-my email is under the profile and I will add it here. And visit my other blogs too!

ETA-no porn! G rated images only!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Life is Unfair!

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it, "A death?" What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better everyday. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then,

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until your young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink like a fish, party your ass off, and screw anything that moves - you've only got a few years left, why not?!?

Then you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last nine months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarter’s everyday.

And then you finish off as an orgasm

Things Kindergartners Know About Food

  • 9. If it tastes really bad, the teacher knows a song about how great it is!

  • 8. In a pinch, glue is an acceptable condiment.

  • 7. Absolutely everything tastes better with chocolate syrup or ketchup on it.

  • 6. Most blue food you find in the fridge will make the puppy sick.

  • 5. Mom's M&M cookies are worth two sandwiches and a dead frog.

  • 4. Dr. Pepper supplies the best on-demand burps.

  • 3. Most foods can be used as finger paints when necessary.

  • 2. Your dog, your cat and your one-year-old brother all look the same eating peanut butter.

  • 1. Happy Meal french fries last longer than the Happy Meal toys....but the toys taste better.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Ethiopian Berbere Stew

I love lentils (did you know in the UK they call them pulses?). There is this wonderful restaurant that used to be in Trapper's Alley in downtown Detroit. When the casino moved in, the Blue Nile moved out. I haven't been back since except on marathon day as part of the race ran thru Trapper's Alley. The Blue Nile is now in both Ann Arbor and Ferndale.

So they made these small side dishes with lentils. Until I went there years ago, I didn't know lentils came in any color but the bland brown ones most of us know. The entire dinner is served on a tray in the middle of the table covered with Injera bread-which you use as a scoop for food. You are not given forks or spoons.

I decided to try and make the Berbere stew that is so aromatic. But I had to make it vegetarian. Here is the recipe for the spices I used. Most ingredients are readily available at a quality grocery or see if you have an Indian or Middle Eastern grocery locally. Also try Whole Foods or Trader Joe's.

Berbere Spice

1 Tbs. ground cardamom
1 Tbs. ground coriander
1 Tbs. fenugreek
1 Tbs. ground nutmeg
1 Tbs. ground cloves
1 Tbs. ground allspice
1 Tbs. cinnamon
1 Tbs. paprika
1 Tbs. turmeric
1 tsp. cayenne
1 Tbs. ground black pepper
1 Tbs. ground sea salt

Store in a cool, dark place.

You can use this spice as a rub or for soups or rice.
Naan from the bakery (it was a bit dry so I drizzled a melted margarine/olive oil mix that was laced with roasted garlic infusion). I am not happy with my home-made Naan recipe yet. Naan can also be purchased from Trader Joe's fr0zen food section and is my fav as it comes in several flavors and each bag is only $1.99. What a deal! As a side dish, I cut up fruit-pineapple, papaya and pears. I topped this with ground cinnamon. Yum!

Mix lentils with water, garlic, onion, and spices. Cook, uncovered over medium-low heat, for 20 minutes until the lentils are soft and puffy. Add water as needed to cover. Add the tomatoes and heat 10 more minutes on simmer.This is good ladled in bowls or over whole grains like brown rice.

I wanted a more hearty bowl-so instead of adding beef or lamb as many recipes suggested, I decided to add extra firm cubed tofu for protein. I also added some boiled sliced carrots (I wanted squash but was in a hurry) and at the last minute in went some boiled, diced with skins Yukon Gold potatoes.
I served this fairly spicy dish with garlic
I have a whole pot left over and almost gave it away. Glad I will have leftovers this weekend. And my house smells incredible hours later too!
And for those of you who want to watch Naan being made, view this video.

So the recipe I made is as follows:
1/2 large onion, chopped
1 1/4 cup brown lentils
2 1/4 cups water
1 garlic clove, crushed
2-3 Tbsp. berbere spice mixture, above
1 28-ounce jar diced tomatoes

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Interesting Quote...

"In dictatorships we are more fortunate than you in the West in one respect. We believe nothing of what we read in the newspapers and nothing of what we watch on television, because we know it's propaganda and lies. Unlike you in the West, we've learned to look behind the propaganda and to read between the lines, and unlike you, we know that the real truth is always subversive."

Dissident Czech Novelist Zdenek Urbanek

Monday, November 05, 2007

It's A Boy!!! He Needs A Name!!!

A new big furry boy! I will pick up the newest edition to my zoo tomorrow afternoon. "Oreo" had been waiting for adoption for over 2 months and is a border collie mix. I have no idea what the mix is yet and will have to see what my vet says. He is a pretty big boy already so I am thinking maybe some lab.

Anyways, he is about a year old, already neutered and potty trained. He and my Marley met today for the first time and seemed to get along okay. "Oreo" likes to chew. Clancy liked to chew too because he was bored and lonely and he ate my sofa way back when (I needed a new one anyways) , so hopefully my sofa will stay intact this time and "Oreo" and Marley will bond quickly. I will try and post a photo when I bring him home tomorrow.

So "Oreo" needs a better name. Let's have a contest with suggestions for him. He is at least 70 pounds I think, so no Tinkerbell stuff. He is dark greys and blueish black with spots-mottled spots. Very lively and full of fun. Leave your suggestions here and I will see if any fit. I just can't live with "Oreo". What is wrong with people and the names they give anyways? Somehow a Great Dane named Snookums is so wrong too! I like people names for animals, so think along that line. I have one name in mind but want to see what others think too.

Where is the Outrage?

This photo was taken during the Vietnam War. I was a senior in high school in 1972 and had just become eligible to vote. I was outraged by the photo of a beautiful innocent 9 year old girl with her back on fire from napalm. She survived and became a doctor and an ambassador for the United Nations.

This little girl from the Middle East will not have that chance. Her father buried her last week. She was killed in a village bombing. She was not the target-she was just in the vicinity. The intended target escaped. How many more of these photos must we endure before this war ends? 35 years later, where is the outrage? Or is having oil to gad about in our SUVs worth this?

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Times Three--Plus a Dog!

This video is NOT embedable---be sure to turn up the sound!

Friday, November 02, 2007

For Courtney--Ikea Queen

Life's Expenses-Sometimes Less is More.

Britney's Expenses:
  • $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
  • $49,267 on mortgage payments
  • $16,000 on clothes
  • $4,758 on eating out
  • $2,500 on phone bills
Kevin's Expenses:
  • $5,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
  • $7,500 on rent
  • $2,000 on clothes
  • $1,500 on eating out
  • $750 on phone bills
(above numbers as released by the court on Thursday, Nov 1)

Jan's Expenses
  • $23 on entertainment, gifts and vacation (one movie and popcorn)
  • $545 on mortgage (not including taxes and insurance)
  • $6 on clothing (mostly running race shirts from races I do)
  • $200 on eating out (unless I have extra mouths to feed)
  • $32 cell phone bill (unless I get a text message-10 cents each)

I do spend a lot on hobbies-books, rubber stamps, scrapping supplies, and my gym membership, so let's add another $450 as a mental therapy charge not covered by health insurance.

So does that mean that the self gratifying and overly immature couple above need to take up rubber stamping or maybe running as hobbies? I would gladly have them over for a card stamping demo or a vegetarian supper to discuss the newest parenting manuals.