Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.When The postal authorities received the letter to God , USA , they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those a**holes deducted $95.00 in taxes
Monday, March 24, 2008
Why did I become vegetarian?: always wanted to (since choking on a chicken bone in 2nd grade-I stopped eating solid foods for a long time)-was partly raised on a farm and hated that my "pets" were being used as food. also health issues-but my Betsy cow really did it for me.
Vegetable I like the most: rutabaga-well, most root veggies I love
Favorite nut: macadamia-so expensive!
Favorite vegetarian main entree: any kind of thick soup/stews served with crusty home made bread
Favorite vegetarian dessert: fresh fruit but it's nice to share a slice of carrot cake (no frosting)-I am not into sweets much
Favorite herb or spice: is garlic a spice or herb? other than that, paprika-all styles
Herb or spice you like the least: I wasn't big into sage until I grew it fresh-so now I would say none.
Vegetarian recipe that would astonish me?: a bread recipe I would not eat :)
Food allergies / Foods I abstain from: mushrooms make me sick, most dairy (makes me sick-hate melted cheese for the most part), if it has eyeballs, I wont eat it! But I will try most other plants at least once.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Here are some of the U.S. Statistics for the Year 1907:
The average life expectancy in the U.S. Was 47 years old.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. Had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. \
There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.
With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage in the U.S. Was 22 cents per hour.
The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year.
A dentist made $2,500 per year.
A veterinarian $1,500 per year.
And a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
Ninety percent of all U.S. Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death in the U.S. Were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 U.S. Adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian Of health."
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !
Now I can post this for the whole world to see-from Iceland to Iraq to ships at sea and earthlings in space. Who'da thunk it?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHERS LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds.
When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done.
And, you thought I couldn't cook ........
Saturday, March 15, 2008
You won't understand.
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Some specialty stores also carry the products. Or you can visit yourself if you are in the wine country area up near Sleeping Bear Dunes, a bit west of Traverse City. Or just order from the site! And be sure to take home some wines from Michigan. First class!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
OLIVER: Yeah, but Jon, this is what politicians do. They rail against the thing they desire the most. Look at Congressman Mark Foley. Headed the committee to protect children from sex predators while trying to pick up underage interns on line.
STEWART: Larry Craig…
OLIVER: There you go.
STEWART: Senator Larry Craig voted repeatedly against gay rights, caught soliciting gay sex in a bathroom.
OLIVER: Very good. Or um, President Bush. How’s that? Promotes democracy abroad, withholds as much information as possible at home.
STEWART: That’s exactly right. He criticizes human rights abuses…
OLIVER: Exactly. Yet, runs his own floating S&M dungeon just south of Key West.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured, HOLY MOLY!! I'M OUTTA HERE!!!"
Saturday, March 08, 2008
two large handfuls of fresh spinach-big handfuls if you like more
For a more filling soup, add some leftover cooked rice or small size cooked pasta-about a cup will do.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Mashed Potatoes: Pat mashed potatoes flat on top. Dig several little depressions. Think of them as ponds or pools. Fill pools with gravy. With fork, sculpt rivers between them. Decorate with peas. Do not eat. Alternate method: Make a large hole in center of mashed potatoes. Pour in ketchup. Stir until potatoes turn pink. Eat as you would peas.
Sandwich: Leave the crusts. If your mother says you have to eat them because that's the best part, stuff them into your pocket or between the cushions of the couch.
Spaghetti: Wind too many strands on fork and make sure at least two strands dangle down. Open mouth wide and stuff in spaghetti; suck noisily to inhale dangling strands. Clean plate, ask for seconds, and eat only half. When carrying plate to kitchen, hold tilted so that remaining spaghetti slides onto the floor.
Ice Cream Cone: Ask for double scoop. Knock the top scoop off while walking out the door of the ice cream parlor. Cry. Lick remaining scoop slowly so that ice cream melts down outside of the cone and over your hand. Stop licking when ice cream is even with top of cone. Eat a hole in bottom of cone and suck the rest of ice cream out of the bottom. When only cone remains with ice cream coating inside, leave cone on car dashboard.
Spinach: Divide into little piles. Rearrange into new piles. After five or six maneuvers, sit back and say you are full.
Chocolate Chip Cookies: Half-sit, half-lie on bed, propped up by pillow. Read a book. Place cookies next to you on sheet so that crumbs get in bed. As you eat the cookies, remove each chocolate chip and place it on your stomach. When all cookies are consumed, eat chips one by one, allowing two per page.
Milkshake: Bite off end of paper covering straw. Blow through straw to shoot paper across the table. Place straw in shake and suck. When shake just reaches your mouth, place a finger over top of straw - the pressure will keep the shake in straw. Lift straw out of shake, put bottom end in mouth, release finger, and swallow. Do this until straw is squashed so you can't suck through it. Ask for another straw. This time shoot paper at the waitress or waiter when they aren't looking. Sip your shake casually until there is about an inch of shake remaining. Then blow through straw until bubbles rise to top of glass. When your father says he's had just about enough, get a stomach ache.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
They don't look too bad at this point.
Cooking in the cast iron pan
After I flipped them
Cooling on the rack