Life's Little Mysteries

• Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
• Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
• Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
• Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?
• Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
• In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
• Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
• Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
• If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
• Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
• Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?
• How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
• Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
• Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
• Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?
• Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don't have to live with women?
• If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?