Purloined from the "Late Night With David Letterman" Newsletter.
- 10. Remove Alaska from the Union.
- 9. Have the FCC look into getting Fox News taken off cable.
- 8. Hire some chubby interns.
- 7. Learn how to mispronounce "nuclear".
- 6. Take down all the Three Stooges posters in the Oval Office.
- 5. Less talk, more Barack.
- 4. Broker peace agreement between hosts of "The View".
- 3. Appoint Joe the Plumber ambassador to Home Depot.
- 2. Ask Oprah if she'll take care of the budget deficit.
- 1. Begin his 2012 campaign.
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